The Gifts of Experience
Note: Phil and his wife are such beautiful Souls and have so much to share that we asked them to start writing down some of their vast experiences so that others may learn from them… Enjoy!! Celest and David
Illness and the Pre-Birth Agreement
So, the CT scan is done and the doctor has just asked me to come into the consultation room to go over the results of the test. He gives me a 4 page report that the computerized tomography machine produces. He begins by showing me an age adjusted scale that refers to a “heart calcium score” with the scale ranging from 0 to 400. If you score 400 you should definitely consult a cardiologist. He says my score is 1,883!
The report reflects the image of a heart with the cardiac arteries identified and where the scan has detected a significant amount of plaque it has a bright spot on the artery with a corresponding number to indicate the estimated amount. One such spot has a score of over 700 by itself! The doctor suggests that I make an appointment with a cardiologist at my earliest convenience. Yes – good idea!
Quite sobering, but little did I know that the worst was yet to come. The doctor continues on with the report that reflects the results of the lower body part of the scan. (When I made the appointment the prior week, I had only requested that a heart scan be done. When I was filling out the paperwork prior to the test, something made me change my mind and I asked for a full body scan because it would only increase the cost of the test by a small amount).
He now tells me that there appear to be masses in the abdominal area that in his opinion appear to be lymphoma. Wow! Yep, the big “C”. (You have to admit that I sure got my money’s worth on the cost of that scan). I look at him and my comment was, “Well I have had a good life”. Such a statement might appear to some to be melodramatic, but until you have had a doctor tell you something like this you won’t know what your reaction might be. He said that I should not feel this way because they have a lot of new treatments for cancer.
How could this happen to me at 64 when I haven’t had any symptoms of either disease. The only thing that caused me to go get the CT scan was an episode that occurred one evening the prior week. Think of when you have had an adrenaline rush and how your heart beat increased in intensity. Well, I used to have such occurrences periodically for over 20 years and when I questioned my own doctor about it he asked how long they had lasted. I replied that they lasted for 10 to 20 seconds or so. He said not to worry. Well this episode lasted 2 hours!
As I was sitting in the easy chair waiting for the heart beat to decrease in intensity, I recalled hearing a radio personality talking about one of his sponsors who performed heart scans. I thought that maybe I should go there and have a scan performed. However after sleeping the night, I completely forgot about the ad until the next morning when I got into my car to go to work. As I started the car, the fellow on the radio was just beginning the ad with, “The nicest gift you can give your sweetheart for Valentine’s Day is a heart scan from … scan”. I immediately sat back, looked up and said, “I got the message”. When I got to work, I looked up the firm and called for an appointment. Hence the CT Scan and the results that led me to do more testing to see how advanced my diseases were.
The cardiologist that I saw was apparently skeptical of a CT Scan done outside of the hospital setting. So to begin with he ordered an echo stress test be performed by his office staff. When I visited with him when the results came back he made the comment that, “You passed the stress test with flying colors – I’m 80% sure you don’t have any blockages.” My response was, “Doctor, I am a CPA by training and 80% is not a high number of confidence in my profession.” I just didn’t feel like I could accept his pronouncement and then asked him what other options were available to me. He said the gold standard was the heart catheter. I told him that that was what I wanted to do. I don’t believe he appreciated my challenging his opinion, but it is my life and it was my decision. During the prep time prior to the procedure I had second thoughts and I was questioning my decision to go ahead, but felt that I needed to know if there were any problems with my heart. Well he performed the heart catheter and low and behold determined that there were 8 blockages that were 80% to 90% obstructed. Yep, my intuition was correct and my decision to do the procedure turned out to be a life saver.
The surgeon who was to perform the bypass surgery told me I was lucky and that I was a walking time bomb. Two days later he operated and took care of the blockages by inserting 5 bypasses. While doing the bypass surgery, the surgeon took a lymph node from my chest and sent it to pathology to determine what type of cancer I had. The oncologist that came to see me in the hospital right after the surgery said that my brand of cancer was Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. The exact type was Follicular Lymphoma, which is the slowest growing type. He said that patients can live for 20 years with such a disease. Not too bad I thought, at least I might dodge this bullet.
WRONG! When I went to him six weeks later, he had changed his mind and strongly recommended a chemo therapy protocol be started immediately. This change in perceived direction from him caused me to question his opinion, so I did a self-referral to the top rated cancer center in the nation. I had an initial appointment with an oncologist there, but had to postpone the appointment due to the original oncologist delaying sending my records to the center. So when they rescheduled me with another doctor I found out that I had ended up with the right oncologist for me.
To ensure that they have adequate information, 5 days of testing were performed. My doctor went over the results of all the tests and told me that the cancer was at a stage 4. It was quite extensive throughout my body, but that they had a clinical trial that I would quality for and that we should get going on the protocol. The most important thing he said was that I wouldn’t get violently ill, would not lose my hair and could even go to work if that is what I wanted to do. With those remarks I said “Let’s get started”.
A scan done months later showed that the cancer was in complete remission! Just like the doctor had said. However he did tell me prior to doing chemo, that follicular lymphoma has no known cure. You can put it into remission, but more often than not, sooner or later it will come back. Then you just bite the bullet and do another type of treatment again which in itself usually works, but the side effects take a toll on the immune system. Presently, I am on my third type of treatment as I have relapsed twice in the past 7 years.
Now comes the interesting part. “I ASKED FOR IT.” Yep, that’s what I said. During that time when we plan what we want to experience during the next incarnation, we firmly believe that we can handle all aspects of the plan. And God goes along with our request, even though He may question the wisdom of some parts of our pre-birth agreement. However, God always grants us Free Will. So I can only look to myself for my current predicament. Religions would view such a scenario as God putting a challenge in front of me or punishing me for something I had done in the past. NOT TRUE! God only loves us and wants what is best for us. WE put the challenges in each lifetime!
And God and others on the other side help us along the way. Who else do you think caused the “heavy heartbeat”, the timing of the radio ad talking about the Valentine Day gift of a CT scan and the changing from a heart scan to a full body scan? Even nudging me to challenge the cardiologist in his statement that he was 80% sure I had no blockages. My view is that even though God agreed with my pre-birth agreement list of challenges, He also has had a hand in making sure that I got the necessary care to minimize the illnesses. I truly believe He has always been at my shoulder, particularly during this time period, and has never left me.
The best thing about what is occurring in my life is that it is an experience that I requested in my pre-birth agreement. I am experiencing having two advanced diseases during the same incarnation. However this lifetime ends, whether it is from the two illnesses or another cause, I do not fear the end, because this lifetime is just a small segment of the journey that my Soul is taking. And I thank God frequently for the opportunity to be here on Terra at this time, whether from God’s request that I be here or God’s granting my own request to be here. Thank you God.
Until the next time, Phil
Note from Celest and David – Although this is true that some Souls do choose certain physical ailments in their Pre-Birth Agreements as a means to learn from the experience, it is not true of everyone who contracts an illness or disease. Many people are exposed to toxic materials. Although we agree with Phil that it was part of his agreement.
The Gifts of Experience / www.awakenedhearts.com